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I don't know why the system allows this type of treatment Not only do the residents feel like they "should" be giving every single bit of their energy, intellect, passion, soul to their residency programs, but they are told by their program directors, attendings and everyone else around them that they "must".
They even refrain from tea and coffee.
Ultimately, it comes down to this. I recommend that talk.
In addition to your religious leaders, there are counselors who specialize in interfaith couples. We do have a small baby but he is usually alseep by 7: Should I be worried.
Also, don't forget, some people just arent very good at conveying emotions. The gold is in the footnotes and sources linked from those new essays.